So, back in November a friend of mine from college finally convinced me to join facebook. I'd been hestitating because I just didn't have anything in common with people from my past and wasn't all that into finding most of them...though there are a few I wondered about. In any event, I joined. As soon as I did, I was so happy that I had the foresight to join when I was pregnant otherwise all of those pics of my high school friend's beautiful babies would have killed me. Ugh. Then I lost the baby. In the last few months, I've gotten used to getting friend requests with baby pictures attached to them, having people ask if we have kids, and when are we gonna start trying. I'm finally okay with it. It is awkward, but I do know that I have a good life and should be happy as we are. THEN came this annoying new phenomena, that game thing that is going around called "First Born", Oh come on, who cares? do you really want to list all of the details of your first delivery, etc for all the world to see? I am somewhat appalled by the whole thing, though maybe it is just sour grapes on my part. I'm sick of all of the reminders and I really really don't want to read your first pregnancy stories! save it for your baby book! Or, can you fill the stupid thing out and then show it only to family? I'll be honest, even if I was fertile, I don't think I'd be answering such personal questions in front of my high school boyfriend, my yoga students, my old landlady, and anyone else I have on facebook (and most people have workplace friends and even bosses on their site). Has anyone else read way too many of these damn things lately?
Though I will have to say...the most enlightening one was the one filled out by the one girl who I was friends with who got pregnant in high school. I guess I learned alot about what that was like for her...though again, the details of delivery and who was in the delivery room and stuff was NOT COOL. And, even worse, my friend from college got pregnant in high school (before I met her) and gave up the baby for adoption, and every time I get one of these, I hope with all my heart that noone has tagged her to asnwer this (most people don't know her history)...because that is just another past painful thing.
7 comments:
I--so far--refuse to join Facebook. One, I don't need all that mental clutter. Two, others have warned me that many people define themselves on Facebook through their kids--ie their profile pics are their babies, not even themselves. I don't need to see that. And 3) there's no one in my life that I'm currently not connected with that I really want to be.
At any rate--I don't think you have sour grapes (or else I do too!) I just think you know how to protect yourself.
OMG. Yes, I said OMG. That first born thing is driving me frickin' bonkers. I read a few at first and now i just want to vomit and it depresses me. THere are all kinds of mommy crap out there. I get that it is super important but QUIT TAGGING ME you vile women.
I have refused to join FB thus far as well for all of the reasons already given. I find myself thoroughly blindsided and bombarded by life in general with baby stuff that I don't need it to add it to my computer as well. Call it good internet hygiene - it is definitely not sour grapes.
We need to connect on facebook ;) I am under MamaSoon's profile. I feel the same way. I define myself through my dog and put status updates about my dog. I do like facebook because it has connected me with so many people I lost touch with, but it is hard to go on FB and not get sad....everybody else has children...and here I am still without. And you are right...trying to EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE why we don't have children...it hurts. I bet my life would be easier without it.
I haven't seen the first born thing, but the flair and bumper stickers is out of hand enough without adding some meme into the mix. The one cool thing though is that I have seen some infertility flair on two of my friend's FB pages. That takes guts. And I hope that it makes others more aware of IF. One friend said she was surprised who reached out to her when she posted it.
The firstborn thing is unreal to me.... I am often amazed as to the crap people are willing to share on there. I am one of the least active people on that site. I just don't get the hype of it all. I'm 35 years old and can do without all the plants and other strange things people keep passing to me. Much too old to really "get" it I guess. LOL.
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