Thursday, March 24, 2011

My cup runeth over

So, you probably guessed it. Its twins! We saw two little sacs, two little fetal poles, and two little heartbeats today. I am a little in shock, excited, freaked out, worried about my little girl and how this is all going to affect her, you name it. I really thought it was one! Really really! So, I have a lot of things to think about.

Unfortunately, I talked to a friend who has 11 month old twins and she scared me to death. She said Teagan will never be just Teagan again, now she will be just the twins' sister. She said that everyone will look past her to see the twins and ignore her. I was close to crying. Then she told me I will be so sick in the first trimester that I won't be able to chase after Teagan and then I'll be so tired in the third trimester that again I won't be able to chase after Teagan. I tried to get off the phone...why say such things now? So, I am trying to be rational and excited. I know this isn't easy but we've been blessed! 2 babies!!!!

Anyway, still early and lots of hurdles but there it is...
Soon to be a big sis:

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Second beta

is 660! So, so far, so good. I am still guessing a singleton, which would be perfect (but twins would be wonderful too). It is a big beta increase (doubling time a little over 33 hours) but my betas with my last successful cycle weren't much lower, 214 and 577. So, I'm guessing one perfect strong little bean!

My first ultrasound will be in a little over 2 weeks, so I'll update on this then. In the meantime, hopefully I get a few minutes to post some cute pics of my little girl or tell some cute stories b/c she is just a riot lately, but we'll see. Things are crazy here.

Monday, March 7, 2011

beta is in

It is 244! It is 10 days past transfer. On the same days after transfer, with Teagan, it was 214. So, I am guessing a singleton but it could go either way.

More later....its been a hectic weekend and crazy day...and not in a good way (though this is the good news, so its bad things are being tempered by good news, I guess). Ugh.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Couldn't hold out!

Not that I tried to hold out from POASing...I was trying not to post here because we were trying to keep our business secret from family and a few friends. But, the truth is, that just isn't our reality. Everyone knows we went to Colorado and we have family in town this weekend, so somehow or other, they are going to notice that I'm not drinking a glass of wine or not picking up something heavy, the jig is up. They still don't know...but I've wanted to post this since Wednesday since you guys have been here for me for about 3 years, if not more! So, on 4dp6dt, towards the end of the day, I saw a mirage of a line. I rationalized it. I mean, transfer was at 3:30 NY time, so really it was barely 4dp6dt, right? So, a mirage? maybe? Then the next day, a darker line....darker still, until this morning (yes, I should have just bought a case of the things), the positive pregnancy line is officially wayyyy darker than the test line!!!! Today is supposed to be beta day but no clinic here is open on Sunday so I go in tomorrow. We are excited...though its been dampened a little by a horrible bug going around here...

I wrote about Teagan's vomiting, I think. Tuesday she was getting better but then diarrhea started again (I say again, b/c we had 8 days straight of this prior to leaving for CO), and she's had a bad belly since then....then Thursday night, Brett got violently ill. I got mildly ill...but since I was the best off, I had to take care of everything in the house (which is fine, I'm glad someone was relatively ok) though I stressed to death all day that I had super-early morning sickness that then mysteriously disappeared yesterday (um, it was the stomach flu, silly, I just didn't get it THAT bad, Thank God). So, all day Friday was shot, and we had to cancel Teagan's first birthday party which was planned for yesterday, I was so bummed. We are rescheduling it for next week...but I think she's going to e 13 months by the time she has her first party, lol, not that she knows the difference. But, with all this overshadowing things, we haven't had the chance to really feel excited and happy yet. Though, I feel content. I think today everyone is on the upswing and I have my beta first thing, things are looking up!

I can't believe my little one is going to have a sibling (or two!). I know we still have A LOT of hurdles to get over...but, for now, I'm going to feel good about this!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I think its considered a 6 day transfer, right? I mean, it took to 6 days for my little embies to make it to testing...and then they thawed 2 of the sweet little things on Friday, they expanded 100% beautifully and we transferred them. I didn't get to see them, unfortunately, since we had the incubator that didn't have a screen but the way Brett and everyone else described them to me, they sounded just like my last CCRM was a figure 8 (almost completely hatched) and the other was just starting to emerge from the shell. Sounds like an exact match to last lets hope that we are as successful, right?

We had a great trip. Teagan did great on the flights, the hotel was nice, transfer went well, it was incredibly hard to stay on bedrest and let Brett do everything, and tell little baby girl that mommy is stuck in bed (but what a joy, right?). Anyway, it went. We stayed an extra day, bought some cute baby clothes for T at the local, big, beautiful, expensive mall and headed out yesterday. Overnight, Teagan came up with something with an incredibly bad night of vomiting. And, again this morning, but so far today, she has finally been able to keep down a couple of rice crackers and a couple of sips of water. That's it for now. Poor baby girl is hungry and not feeling great, though when her little belly is empty she is still laughing and walking and chasing the dogs, but then she gets hungry and I have to be careful how much she eats and drinks until I know she can keep something down. Its hard!

Okay, on to the 2WW stuff. I thought it would be easier and I know it is, but it still sucks. I'm not nearly as over the top as I've been in the past. But, I'm stressed. I won't be absolutely crushed if this didn't work but I always thought that if I had just one successful IVF and pregnancy that if I chose to do it again, I'd be so confident of it working that I would just go about my business. Not so. I'm almost convinced it didn't work. I mean, I still have that almost 70% chance of success, right? No more, no less. That's good odds. But, I don't know...maybe all of my old fears are haunting me. Either way, in reality, I have my miracle and she is so amazing, so I'm okay. I'm just trying to not get all wrapped up in this drama again but it is hard.