Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Just a few quick pictures

Since we can't stop taking pictures, I thought I'd share a few. We are leaving tomorrow for a short trip to visit family and friends a few hours away (wish us luck!!!) so I wanted to post these before we left. As an update...She is growing great. She was weighed in at 8lbs 9oz yesterday at the pediatrician's office, so the breastfeeding is going well! My nipples are still a little sore so we did break out the pump and I've used it a few times so that daddy can feed Teagan but I am not having luck with the pump at all. I'm not sure what to do. I can only pump very little and there is always a ton of milk left in the boob! I called Me.dela because I have one of their better pumps and they suggested bigger breastshields thinking that my nipples may be too big (?!) but that wasn't the case b/c I bought those ($12.99) and then bought bigger ones (another $12.99) and still the original size M ones work the best, but I still only get at most 2 oz per breast and then I can still feed Teagan until she's full AND hand express milk after that! So, clearly my expensive pump doesn't work properly!!! Anyway, that is another story. Another update...and this one may be TMI, so be careful, lol....even if you didn't get hemorrhoids from pushing a baby out, give it a week or two and you may be surprised when they appear and OUCH!!!! I had to go to the OB yesterday b/c I've been having a problem with the back end...and they told me that women often damage those muscles during birth but are unaware until weeks later when the hemorrhoids come to visit. Ugh. I thought I got off so well with barely any damage and no hemorrhoids but there they are!
Oh, and after all of that, I'm dying to call up CCRM and make an appointment with my RE so that we can do this whole thing again!!! I'll outline my plan in future but I do see a retrieval and CGH testing sometime this late fall/winter. That clock is ticking!!!

Okay, anyway, here is Teagan in the last few weeks...growing:-)
Looking a little paranoid...enough with the camera, dad!
Spending time with the puppies:
Her favorite place to take a nap:

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

busy and happy

I haven't posted in a while because I am just busy being happy. I am busy waking up every 3 hours at night to wake up my beautiful little girl and feed her. I am busy just sitting still and staring at her face and the weird little expressions she makes...and wondering if that smile is still gas or is she learning to smile for real (so you know- its gas and I'm delusional). I'm busy changing her diaper 10 times a day and laughing when she poops on the changing table, or in Brett's hand on her way to the bath. I'm just in awe. I don't mean to be gloating because I know a lot of women who I support and who have supported me who are still struggling with IF but I have to share my happiness in this blog too...and I am happy...and tired...and my nipples hurt!

Breastfeeding is going really well. When Teagan was born, they gave her back to me after about 15 minutes (when they checked her out b/c of her short moment of shock) and she immediately latched on and nursed like a champ. Since then, she's been a great eater and has been growing well. However, she's got a very powerful suck and bite and ouch! I know breastfeeding can be painful in the first few weeks and I did have sore and cracked nipples for the first week or so but I bought some Lan.sinoh and have been consistent with using it and the nipples have recovered until this week - now they are just sore. However, as much as the lactation consultants say otherwise, this is also considered normal and any day now, my poor breasts should recover and get used to all this new action and I should be good to go. I seriously hope so. I love breastfeeding! Love it love it. I haven't even opened the pump yet. I love it so much I don't mind setting a timer and waking Teagan up every 3 hours at night to feed (another week of this and then I can start stretching it out unless she starts waking up on her own). I can't describe the joy of it and it makes no sense to me when my nipples are literally so sore that I can't even wrap myself in a towel after a shower, or even touch them with the towel to dry them. I should hate it, right? But, the fact that I can feed my little girl and that she looks to me for that...it is just such a beautiful thing!

Besides sore nipples, there isn't much going on here. Brett is an awesome dad already. He soothes her so much better than me! With me, she wants soothing in the form of a boob...with him, she can relax and take a pacifier or just snuggle in and calm down. It is the sweetest thing to see. He's also been on the rough end of some diaper accidents, lol. At the photographer's house, he got pooped on twice. At Teagan's bath time, he gets peed on almost daily (little girls also pee when exposed to the air, just so you know). And, the funniest was when he was changing her a few nights ago and she pooped on the table with such force that it shot into the room - hitting his jeans and cell phone and carpet and even me, who was walking a couple feet behind him. Lol. She is powerful:-)

Also - for those of you who are cloth diapering. I did have to use newborn disposables for a few weeks. She was just too small to fit in the Bu.m Ge.nius 3.0's right away. I finally started her in them yesterday and they are huge- I will have to post a pic tomorrow or the next day - but they work great. To be honest, her tushy was getting a little red and the redness has definitely gone down in the last day or so, so I think they doing the job. They are just gigantic on her little tushy. So, if you have a 6lb baby, consider the fact that you may have to buy into disposables for a week or two (or three). We really didn't want to...but I think they may have helped with the transition home in the end. And, we had no choice, she was just a tiny little thing and would have drowned in the cloth nappies!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I had to share a few of these!!!

In August I won the grand prize at the local baby expo and as part of that gift, received free newborn pics from a photographer (a different one from the horrible maternity photo debacle!). She did the pics this week, almost totally free. Okay, they would have been free but when we got to the photographers house/studio, the photographer was so edgy and cranky and almost mean that Teagan was miserable and did not cooperate at all...pooping in dad's hand, then pooping while trying to do another naked pic and hitting the photographer's floor (LMAO), then getting chilly and upset. It was awful. So, we rescheduled and I offered to pay her (even though she was incredibly bitchy) since it was really two sessions that we were doing, she agreed to a greatly reduced rate. Luckily, when she came to our house, everything got better. It appears that what happened is that the photographer rubbed me so the wrong way that I was pissy and that translated to Teagan so after an hour of fussiness, Brett told me to get over my dislike of the woman and go in the other room to meditate for a minute....I did (bringing Teagan to nurse) and when I came back calm, she was great. It turns out that the photographer was pissy b/c she is in her first trimester and sick and hormones are raging...but still...ugh, not a happy personality for me at the time. Poor Teagan was just reacting to my stress! Anyway, here are a few of the pics. I can't get over them!!!! She was about 9 days old when these were taken.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Birth Story...or...don't bother with a birth plan!!!!

So, I knew going into all of this that a birth plan is really a "best case scenario" so don't really "plan" on it. Knowing that, I'm glad I wasn't dead set on what Teagan's birth was going to be like. That made me slightly less emotional when everything took its own course and allowed me and Brett to totally roll with it when things did not at all go as planned... (this is a long post)

We went to the hospital at 5:30 to check in for 6:00 as the nurses said to do. As we checked in, we found out that we were early and that L&D was swamped so we had an ice cream in the hospital cafeteria, waiting on pins and needles. At about 6:15, we went up and got our room. By 7:30, they had administered the first dose of Misoprostol up into my cervix and had me lying flat on my back for the next hour. Let me first state that putting the crushed pill type thing up there is PAINFUL. My cervix is in a very difficult position apparently, so it is very high up and towards the back, so they have to manuever a gloved hand with some gel on it, with something that felt like Comet bathroom cleanser all over it, up into that area...ouch. But, okay, I was in L&D, so didn't expect soft fluffy feelings. Anyway, the Misoprostol not only softens the cervix but it also starts contractions. I had some relatively painful ones but was handling things okay, I think. The game plan was to get more "mispro" inserted every 4-5 hours. 4 hours later, they were supposed to check me and do it again...they didn't. 5 hours later, I called the nurse, they said they were busy. 6 hours later, Brett went to the nurses station to find them all sitting around with the resident who was supposed to be giving me the mispro and basically chatting and hanging out. He insisted they get in and continue the induction. They did. Nothing had changed. However, I did find out that my doctor lied when he said that we would be in Monday for a few cervix softeners overnight and likely have the baby Tuesday morning. No, every nurse said inductions like this (especially those over 40 weeks) can take several days to work. Anyway, they put another Misapro in. 4 hours later, same thing...but the contractions were getting much more painful and it was very hard to lay flat on my back. I was obsessively watching the fetal monitor during each of these contractions but Teagan seemed to be doing okay. Well, long story, we made it to Tuesday. Brett was incredible and supported me through everything, trying to get me to breathe through the contractions while I refused and got cranky. They decided to keep up with Misopro. We had an awesome nurse at this point who did everything for us and actually allowed me to finally have some lunch (since I wasn't progressing and hadn't eaten since that ice cream the night before) and then ran around to find me a portable fetal monitor and batteries for it so that I could walk around a little and try to let gravity work on my body. Brett and I walked the halls. We were ready and they put another one in at 3:15PM. By this point, I was literally holding on to the bed and crawling up to the headboard when they tried to insert it. Contractions started really bad...so at 3:30 they gave me a shot of demerol. The contractions still hurt but I felt more relaxed (because amid all of this there were several violent crying bouts in which I was terrified we were not progressing and things were going to turn bad). So, demerol, and the mood got better.

At 4:30 my OB showed up and checked me. He said I was still at around 1-2 cm and 50% but that he decided we might as well try to break my water. He did. It was slightly meconium tinged which had me a nervous wreck (even on the demerol, so you know I was a nut) but he said it is very lightly tinged and totally normal for a baby at 41 weeks, 3 days. So, 4:30 the water broke. At about 5:00 I was begging for an epidural. The misapro makes contractions very strong and then when my water broke, my body kicked in its share of nice contractions and I was having them very fast and strong and long. The epidural doctor was received into the room with cheers (not once did I regret my birth plan saying hopefully no epidural). He gave me enough of one to prevent the pain but I still totally felt my legs and was able to move them. He said I would absolutely feel it when I needed to push and delivery would still likely be painful, just not horrible. The nurse put in a foley catheter so I didn't have to get out of bed to pee. About 3 hours later, they came in to check me and I was at 4-5 cm. About 1 hour later, I had to call in the nurse because I felt like I had to pee. She said it is impossible and checked the catheter and then left. About 15 minutes later Brett ran out to get her because I was crying I had to pee so bad. At the nurses station, another nurse said she's never heard of that unless a woman had progressed past 7-8cm and was on the verge of delivery (so the baby's head was slamming into the inflated bag in my bladder), which we were sure I wasn't. The nurse was incredible and I finally convinced her to take the catheter out to see if I could pee. I couldn't...but they decided to call in the resident to check me. I was at 9 cm and he could barely feel cervix at all. They decided to call the OB. Within about 5 or 10 minutes I was writhing on the bed insisting that I had to poop now (great, right...but seriously, this is what it felt like). I couldn't physically stop my body from pushing. The resident came back in to check me and said he couldn't even find cervix and we absolutely had to deliver. They pumped up the bed, (much of this I don't remember because to be honest, the hardest part of all of this was to try NOT to push, I was in agony over it), got me ready and held my legs, nurse on one side, Brett on the other. And they waited. It seemed that once I was up and ready and everyone said I could push, those contractions slowed down, so I was insisting I didn't have to push but luckily, a contraction started, I pushed 2x...the doctor asked if I wanted to feel the head with the next push...I was like "seriously????". I pushed again, and felt her furry little head. About 5 more pushes and she was fully delivered and they plopped my beautiful squishy baby on my lap. Brett cut the umbilical cord and took pictures of everything. He was awesome and so excited!

I was almost sobbing with relief and love. However, within a minute, she stopped moving in my arms and just felt lifeless. I screamed, "she stopped moving, is she breathing?" and literally football tossed her to the nurse who was about to call the NICU when an older nurse said not to...she was fine. Just a moment of shock, apparently, where she needed to catch up to being born. Scared the crap out of me. At this point, my OB came in...and delivered the placenta, sewed up 2 very small tears, one of which he labelled on the chart a "skid mark" indicating that he thinks she knicked me with a nail on the way out, lol. They cleaned her up right there, and put her on my lap and within 20 minutes of being born, she was nursing happily. I truly couldn't believe how fast the birth part actually happened. It was a truly amazing experience...the beginning of labor was very hard (mostly emotionally and because it was taking so long, it was exhausting) but the end was beautiful. They say you forget the pain eventually...it seems I forgot it immediately b/c I really am already looking forward to hopefully doing this again one day. In the meantime, I can't believe how beautiful she is and how good she is.

Last night, her 6th day of life, she let me sleep a total of 7 hours!!! I nursed her before bed, put her down for 2.5 hours (set an alarm to nurse). I woke her up to nurse for 1/2 hour and then back to sleep for 2.5 hours, woke her up to nurse, put her down for another 2 hours and we were up this morning. She rarely cries, but I also know that both me and Brett have been here every minute waiting on her hand and foot...its just she is such a pleasure. We can both sit on the couch and watch her facial expressions all day!