The Holidays are here!!!

We are pretty excited for the holidays this year. Can't help it. This pregnancy is progressing nicely so far and each day that goes by, we get more and more confident and more and more excited. I know things can always go wrong, especially so early, but it just isn't worth worrying about. So, we jumped on the opportunity to decorate the house yesterday. Since we live in Central New York, we get a lot of snow - some of it regional weather and some of it Lake Effect snow. Well, the last few days have been relatively warm so that all the snow from last weekend began to melt off of the roof and the yard. We decided to jump on that opportunity and start decorating the house. Brett decided that we'd go all out this year and do even the top tier roof. I thought he was crazy, but here he is putting them up.

And, here is the finished result...I can tell you honestly, it looks much better in person.

We had a great Thanksgiving at our neighbor's house with her wonderful family. I'm not always the hugest fan of turkey but it was really yummy. Unfortunately, I still get morning sickness at night so after the dinner, we left a little early and skipped dessert, and I was in bed by 8 pm. Well, the little bugger is taking lots of my energy!

We've been avoiding the stores so far this week, but I have to run out for a few things this morning. Brett is just itching to start painting the nursery. He's been lost without a home project to work on and this is one heck of an exciting home project. So, we may hit Lowe's on the way home. We already ordered paint from Mythic Paint and had it shipped to the house (free shipping!). http://www.mythicpaint.com I like to help paint and would be too worried about all the chemicals but this stuff has no health warnings at all associated with it, no VOC's, etc and has really high reviews for coverage and stuff. Before you guys think we are jumping the gun, you need to understand that the room in question is the one room in the house we haven't touched since we moved in almost 2 years ago. It is currently painted dark blue-gray with 2 of the walls being bright kelly green, there are weird stains and marks all over the walls, etc. So, we've been looking for an excuse to paint but have been holding off for all this time b/c it was supposed to be our baby's room! At least we haven't bought furniture yet!!!

Eva Longoria's Engagement Ring? Are you kidding?

So, that site that I go to that tells me how big my baby is (8 weeks today) told me it is the size of the diamond in Eva Longoria's ring. Lol. Are you kidding? We are lucky I actually know who Eva Longoria is. How am I supposed to know she's engaged or how big her ring is? Jeeez. Anyway, as a result, I had to search around for something else to compare it to so that we can all get an idea. So here is what I came up with...

Yup, the little booger is a pumpkin seed this week! Can you believe how fast they grow? No wonder I am so darned tired! But so so so happily tired!

I've decided to skip out on the "obligatory Thanksgiving post" as a fellow blogger put it. I have so much to be thankful for this year (and every year) that I don't want to waste your time by asking you to read all about it. Things are great. Granted, I'm still couch-bound, but for a good reason!!!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Fuzzy Pic

So, the little booger is getting bigger! We had our second u/s today and all is well with our little guy! The baby is growing nicely, the heartbeat was super fast and strong, and we are on track. However, that thing they thought was another sac last week turned out to be a bleed. The nurse called it a "separation" which completely freaked me out. So as soon as I got home I called CCRM to discuss. The nurse said that they are really really common with IVF and that my particular one (from last week's u/s) is very small. What it is (and you can see it to the left and below the baby) is that a bleed sometimes starts where the placenta is attached. That bleed then drips down to the bottom of the uterus and pools down there. That is it. What this means for me is that I have to continue to take it really really easy (sorry, hun, that means you still have to lift everything for me and even vacuum) and hope that my body reabsorbs it. If not, I may bleed a little bit. They said that spotting is fine but if I bleed a lot and very red, then I am on strict bedrest until it is resolved. Supposedly it is usually resolved by week 12 (aka, Christmas Day)!

However, we got to see a head, and arms and legs (tiny, you know, but still visible!). Of course the nurse tried to get both the blood and the baby in one image so both are fuzzy instead of just getting me the perfect shot I wanted of our little baby! So, apologies for the fuzzy baby pic! Just know that he or she looks perfect!

So, so far so good. Of course, this is not without stress, but I am so thankful. On a light note, Brett and I were talking yesterday about our plans for the holidays and we may have family coming after Christmas, which is great. I was laughing b/c I am getting so -ahem- "round" that I am not fitting my clothes (lack of exercise, only able to eat carbs b/c of nausea). I said something derogatory about myself and a particular barn animal. So Brett said that he'd get me a bunch of big sweaters in a black and white spotted pattern. I had to laugh and say, "you know, in the past, people might have thought I was going for the dalmation look, but now I'd be more cow". For some reason, he couldn't stop laughing.

A Tic Tac, and I know I am insane

I will stop these crazy posts one day but I am just having too much fun with this weekly "what size is Booger now?". So, she or he is the size of a tic tac. Oh, and if I acidentally repeatedly refer to Booger as "he" just take note that it is not a preference or a premonition or a wish...it is just generic and easier to say than "he or she" all the time. We sooooo don't care about gender...so much so that we aren't even going to find out the sex when we get to that point. Anyway, can you believe it? A tic tac. Yes, that sounds tiny, but when you think that this time last week, he was a sprinkle, that's just crazy! No wonder I am so tired!

Short post today, I have family in town and have lots to do...plus I have to check up on everyone else's blog now...

Stuck with old RE

Oh well, I spoke to my OB and they are unwilling to monitor this pregnancy until week 10. How weird is that? CCRM would like me to move over to the OB in week 8 but I am stuck. I'm kind of beyond annoyed by this (probably more than I should be). I mean, the OB nurse was nice and happy for me but said that they'd love to be my doctor but they wouldn't get me in until week 10 b/c there is nothing to do? Um, if I was a non-IVFer, I'm pretty sure I'd have had a bunch of appointments by now...weird. Oh well, I am stuck with the old RE. FUN.

On a good note, the nurse at my OB's appointment said that they aren't one of those offices that consider all IVFers to be "high risk" and therefore require C-sections. The thought of that just makes me so angry. When I asked her this question, she was shocked that people do that and said she'd be angry at that too! I was like, THANK YOU!!! So, I become a normal pregnant woman (I mean, within reasonable limits, lol) on December 11th!!!

The booger?

So, when most of us who do IVF get to this point we end up with cute little names for that little baby that we finally get to see as a tiny little dot on the ultrasound. In my due date group there is already a peanut, a bean, a cashew and a tater. Well, we now have our own. Yesterday, Brett comes into the family room and says, "how is the little booger doing?"...I was like, "huh?". Well, he goes on to explain. We can't call it the bean anymore because last year we had an ectopic and before we knew it was ectopic, we were praying for "the bean" and chanting, "Grow, bean, grow" because the betas were so low. Well, that didn't turn out so well, obviously. So, then, we'd be inclined to call our little baby the "peanut". However, we call our smaller-than-usual boxer female, Harley, the "peanut" because she is just so cute and petite and she knows this as one of her names....so Brett thought more about it and started calling our little baby the "booger", which still concerned me until he started laughing when I asked him why "booger" and he said, "because they stick"!!!! lol...so it is the booger because I really want this baby to stick! Oh, the poor thing, off to a rough start, lol...

On another note, I am cutting down my progesterone shots again...freaking out...! My progesterone was still >40 yesterday even though I cut it down to every other day. However, my estrogen fell from 1,300 to 800. So, I am staying on one estrogen patch and going in on Thursday and Monday for more bloodtests to see how I do. I am cutting down the PIO to .5ml every other day and re-checking it on Thursday. Hopefully it will never go <40, even after I stop the shots b/c that makes me so nervous!

I get to call the OB today and see when they will allow me to transition over from the RE. I can't wait! I hope they are willing to transition me at 8 weeks and I can only stay with the RE until I wean off all the meds...otherwise I have to wait until week 10...should I beg? I mean, the nurses at my old RE's were great. They let us actually HEAR the baby yesterday and Brett and I got lots of hugs and well-wishes, it was great. However, I am not a huge fan of the RE himself and hate that I might bump into him...so I'd rather just move on...

A perfect little bean!!!

We saw and HEARD one perfect little bean and heartbeat!!! According to the RE, I am at 6w6d....we found this little guy, sitting in a great position, and with a heartbeat flickering away! The nurse thought we might be able to hear it so turned on the doppler and unbelievably (it is really early to hear anything) we heard the fast, little heartbeat! It was an incredible moment. I was a nervous wreck. Thought I was going to be sick this morning I was so scared and it all dissolved in that moment!

The nurse also found what she thinks is another sac, though it appeared to be empty. So, it looks like we may have had twins at one point. However, she isn't positive it is a sac - it could also be a small bloodclot, it is too early to tell. She was leaning towards it being a sac...which is sad, but at least our one strong hb is there! The picture is a little grainy, but you can clearly see our little bean!!!

So, now that we've seen the heartbeat and heard it, some doctors say that the risk of miscarriage goes down to about 5-7% at most, so Brett is insisting that we are going to just be happy now. No more obsessing about what could go wrong and just be plain old happy. So, I'm going along with it. I will be waiting for a phone call from CCRM tonight to see what they say and if I am still on restricted movement (which may be because of the possible blood clot), but besides that, I am just beyond happy.

Gray hairs???

One of the things that I didn't think too much about before we got pregnant was dying my hair. I forgot that I had an appointment all set up last week to cut and color. I've read repeatedly that hair color is probably safe for pregnancy. um....that isn't enough for me, so I decided my hair didn't look too terrible and I would skip the color this time. I'm glad I made that decision because a few days ago I received a letter from CCRM saying "congratulations on your pregnancy, here are some things to avoid....hair color...". Whew. Well, that's all great...but, um, my grays are showing. I already decided that after the first trimester I can do a rinse to "blend" my color. It uses all natural vegetable dyes and is perfectly safe, but again, afraid to do anything right now. So, here I sit, stressing out, getting chubby (happily, though, this is not a complaint), and going gray (not so happy, but definitely willing to put up with it). I just had to share. Oh- they also said to avoid mani/pedi's (not that I do these too often but have considered to reduce stress/make me feel pretty this week- Lord knows I need to feel pretty!). Guess they worry about infection. Jeez, I'm just gonna be a big disaster!

Besides that, still waiting. On checking up with some of my fellow IF bloggers, there has been some wonderful success stories this week and also alot of pain. I know how hard this journey is. I know that very little of the pain comes from the physical side (though we've seen this week too that the physical ouchiness is nothing to belittle), but is almost entirely and unbearably emotional. My heart just aches for all that we each go through. Stay strong. Look forward to things again....and love each other (and don't forget to spoil the furbabies).

a sprinkle?

Acccording to some pregnancy counters, I am a full 6 weeks pregnant today. According to the other ticker, I am 5w6d. In any event, my baby is the size of a sprinkle today! I had to post this image from the web because it serves several purposes. I was looking for a cute image of a sprinkle and this one came up and next to the caption, it read: "Michigan Avenue. This lemon-infused cupcake is topped with a zesty lemon cream cheese frosting and garnished with yellow and blue sprinkles. Go Wolverines." Now, if you all knew that what I do every Saturday is sit on the couch with DH and watch Michigan play whatever team is available, you'd know why I had to choose this picture. And, yes, Honey, if you are reading this I have finally learned the difference between Michigan and Michigan State....Love you!

Symptoms??

Can you believe I've been nauseous for the last week straight? I still think this is too early for morning sickness, but apparently not! I'm actually going to assume this is because my own hormones seem pretty high right now and I'm still on the daily PIO shot and vivelle patches. I think my body doesn't quite no how to process all of those hormones! In any event, it makes me really happy - if I ever start to feel better, I get nervous. In fact, Brett is a rock and he was getting nervous because I was too hot last night. I'm never too hot. In his experience, I'm only too hot when I'm taking the PIO and I'm not pregnant. So, he was a little nervous this morning, mumbling something about how he doesn't like the hot flashes and night sweats thing. I had to explain to him that it is just a symptom of too much progesterone. It may even be a good thing. So, I'm not the only high strung and crazy one in the house!!!!

But, for those of you who love to hear about symptoms, my bbs are ridiculously sore right now (sleeping with a jogbra on), I get dizzy a lot (glad I'm not teaching yoga again just yet), and if I don't eat for a few hours my stomach really hurts. I also have weird and ouchy digestive stuff going on as well as some ovary pains. I think that sums it up. This is unusual for me because though I know the supplemental meds can cause some of these, I've never experienced them before to this extent. So, I will continue to take that as a good sign.

We've been not-so-patiently waiting...and cancelling trips. Brett and I were supposed to be going to Las Vegas this weekend for some convention that he had to go to for work. As a result, work was paying for a beautiful hotel room and Brett's flight. Several friends from Brett's work were bringing their significant others and the spouses were planning to hang out and have fun while the employees went to their conference. Well, CCRM doesn't like traveling during the first trimester, and I am absolutely unwilling to argue with them, so I had to cancel. Then the ultrasound was scheduled for 11/17 and Brett had to cancel too. Now, we are in the middle of considering canceling all of our holiday plans. We both live far from our families and have to travel and I won't really be released to travel until January...so looks like we will have quiet at-home holidays this year. It doesn't seem reasonable for everyone else to travel...but, I can't complain AT ALL. I couldn't come up with a better reason to adjust plans...you know?

Anyway, I am still cautious to make all these adjustments so am not cancelling all engagements likely to be affected by this YET. I am obsessing about heartbeats and wondering if everything is still okay in there. Also thinking about all the couples who are heading out on the same journey I just completed with a lot of hope and excitement. I want every single one of you to get your strong BFPs. I check up on every one of you daily!!!

Update on the P4 debate

I just talked to my nurse at CCRM. She told me that my levels are so high that most of the REs at CCRM would already start weaning me off the meds this week. For some reason, Dr. G is much more conservative. I was like "THANK GOD!". Anyway, it seems that my levels are very high...CCRM looks for an E2 of 300, mine is 1,364. They look for a P4 of 20 and mine is ">40". She said that in order for them to be concerned about my P4 levels causing a problem, it would have to go well below 20 and that is unlikely because it is clearly higher than 40 and we are just cutting it in half. I tend to agree, I mean, it sounded reasonable, but it still freaks me out. She even said that skipping the shot on Sat the 15th, taking it on the 16th and then getting the b/w done on the 17th should not be enough time to cause any problems at all. If they see it went lower they will tell me to start shots again right away. So, I am inclined to trust them. Oh, I so hope I have a healthy viable baby in there! This wait is just killing me. Oh, and what the heck kind of RE has a machine that doesn't measure more than a level of 40 progesterone? No comment.

P4 and E2

Yesterday I had to go in to my local RE for bloodwork to check on my progesterone and estrogen levels. To support this pregnancy, I've been taking progesterone in oil shots (PIO, 1ml every day) and estrogen patches (2 applied every other day). Now I don't know about estrogen support but most RE's wait until about week 9 or 10 to start decreasing progesterone support because by that time, the placenta should have started making enough to support itself. CCRM is different. They had me go in yesterday to have my levels checked and the nurse called with the results. The estrogen was 1,364 and my progesterone was >40, which sounds crazy, but my old RE does not have a machine that measures P4 higher than 40...which sucks for me. Basically the nurse told me that I am to start weaning off both estrogen and the PIO. Next Saturday (literally, 2 days before my u/s), I can start using 1 patch of estrogen every other day and I can cut down to 1 ml of the PIO every other day instead of every day. Now, you girls who have been through these crazy procedures are starting to understand my freakout, right? The nurse said that she wishes she knew if my P4 level was at 100 or higher or closer to 40 itself or somewhere in the middle. She simply said that in any event, they will find out on Monday if it ends up going below 40 that it was closer to 40 than 100? Um, are you crazy? If it goes below 40, I believe I can lose the baby I haven't even seen on u/s yet???!?! Yes, I know CCRM knows what they are doing, but isn't there a better way? is it bad to have too high P4? I'd rather just keep with the daily PIO, am feeling downright warm towards those bruises on my hips!!! I asked the nurse if I could go to another lab, like Quest Diagnostics, and have them draw the blood to be shipped to CCRM or tested in an independent lab so we'd have a better understanding of my levels and she said its okay, we will know if P4 drops that it was lower than we thought....eeek! I am going to call them today and speak to my regular nurse or to Dr. G himself b/c this is killing me! I am not usually very high maintenance with this stuff. Believe it or not, I trust the people at CCRM, they certainly know more than I do....but this is just plain scary! Maybe I'll consult the girls on the boards....

Besides that, nothing new to report. Some symptoms: I've been exhausted in the evenings lately; have had a bit of nausea though not enough to vomit; daily headaches and lightheadedness. These are all good things according to me and DH. Every time I hint that I don't feel 100%, Brett's face lights up and he says something silly about this is what we signed on for! and then he apologizes that me being sick makes him happy...but I get his point. And, it makes me laugh:-)

yoga student alert and waiting again...

I've given the link to this blog to a few of my yoga students and I wanted to make a general announcement to those of you who check this site...I won't be returning to work as scheduled originally on Nov. 15, it looks like I will be continuing to vacation until the end of November and should be returning in December. This delay is entirely related to my ultrasound date being scheduled on Nov 17 and my need to find out how healthy this baby (or babies) is before I go ahead with normal activity again. I'm sorry! I've heard that most of you have not been having a very good time recently and the teachers are not being consistent (barring Thursdays I think). I've spoken to a few of you on the phone so hopefully the word will get out. Though I may attempt to stop by the studio to say hello sometime next week:-)

Besides that, I am still just waiting. I am sure my posts should start getting interesting again soon with other thing going on...but this weekend I was totally obsessed with this pregnancy. I am now constantly nauseous and have some painful digestive stuff going on and some headaches so it hasn't been much fun....but it makes me feel great! I take this as a sign that maybe my baby is really strong in there and working his or her little tail off growing! Which is all I want:-) So, once I start to get used to this I should start posting some fun stuff again...because in all honesty, we had a great weekend. We shopped for little, silly baby things to keep the positivity going (without going overboard), we had a great time at a neighbor's house on Halloween night with a bonfire, beers (none for me!), music, and great friends, and we finally got the house a little more settled from being away for so long.

I have 2 weeks left for the beancount! I am less concerned with how many now than I am with seeing just one beautiful heartbeat! I truly can't wait.