Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Another story - what is going on lately?

I finally got my hair done yesterday. Finally. I had to borrow my neighbor's minivan to get me to my appointment since our truck is in the shop, but I was bordering on taking my bike I was so desperate. So, there I am chatting away with my stylist. Note- I hate the salon. I hate making small talk. No matter how nice the stylist is, I just hate going. Its not that I hate being pampered, it just seems like such a waste of time and effort to me and, again, I hate small talk. Not to mention, women drive me nuts sometimes. So, I'm going off on a tangent here. Right after my miscarriage I went to the salon and surprise of surprises, my neighbor had beaten me there with the news of my miscarriage so, what does everyone do? tiptoe around me. They look all sympathetic but don't say anything until I bring it up and say, "I bet so-and-so already told you..." and then they start with 'what people say when you miscarry' stuff. Later that night, DH and I went to that same neighbor's house for dinner - it was right before Christmas. I sat down with the husbands with a glass of wine and another neighbor's husband looks at me and says, straight out, "I'm sorry -I heard you had a miscarriage. How are you doing? will you guys try again? good". Topic addressed and we moved on. God, I love men. They are so wonderfully direct. Anyway, back to my story. I was at the salon yesterday and we started talking about the TTC stuff - my stylist is 28, getting married, has PCOS and has some concerns though she isn't ready to have kids. So we talk about it. She says something along the lines of "why does all this bad stuff happen so much lately? do you think it is something in the environment that is creating all this badness (meaning IF, autism, birth defects, etc)." Well, she colors my hair and a guy comes in and I sit there as she cuts his hair. They proceed to talk about his 3 week old baby that is in the hospital 2 hours away. The baby was born with a heart defect that required immediate surgery but during surgery she got a bad infection - one of those hospital infections that 85% of people who get them die from. Last week the doctors said her liver and kidneys were failing and they should say goodbye. Well, they did but she stuck around. She is still in seroius danger but so far, hanging in there. Now they are just praying and doing all that they can. They are staying at the ronald mcdonald house by the hospital but he has to commute down here every day for work. What the heck is going on? Seriously, I just hear so many terrible stories lately! This poor man and his wife!

(Please don't take it personally that I said women drive me crazy sometimes - its just that I am usually too direct of a person and some women tend to do that under the surface passive aggressive thing that I am not smart enough to figure out and don't have the patience for- and you often find this type of thing where lots of women congregate - like the salon. And, my neighborhood tends to be this way - mostly because the woman who is the center of everything social here is like this, so I am particularly frustrated by it lately. And, I probably tick people off because I don't do it, lol.)

So, anyway, things here are fine. My hair came out nice - it needed to be done. I am growing it out for locks of love just because it was growing so fast and getting so long and I was getting really cheap and didn't want to cut it anyway. I was letting my grays show and it was getting really flat. So, now it is uniformly one color. Still long but with some face framing stuff so I don't look like a hippie anymore:-) I have another few months until I can cut it and have the needed 10-12 inches and not be bald.

About the wait- it is annoying but I am staying busy. I am 3 weeks and 5 days today. My cell phone is attached to my hand constantly. I am stressing that Dr. G isn't going to want to call me with bad news and it bothers me to think of stressing him out - I'm insane. I know he gives bad news all the time, so I don't know why I think I am special. I just hate to make people uncomfortable. I still think I have a few more weeks to wait but I know the news can literally come in any minute and I really don't want to miss the call.

On another note, I think all this IVF stuff has totally screwed with my system. My digestive system is totally off lately and my hormones are whacky. I think it is latent stress and the fact that I've been medicated for 2 years straight almost. I think it is finally catching up with me. I have IBS anyway, but lately, ouch, belly pains! I mean, the stress may also be from having 5 dogs and the fact that my mom is moving here TODAY. Yes, she is moving less than a mile away and Brett and I don't even know if we are going to stay here for another year. It is a long story and I've warned everybody but I just don't see us living here forever. I know it is 1-3 years before we go...and then I love my mom but I don't know how this is all going to turn out...

Okay, I've vented enough. Thank you all for your support on the wedding question. I am heading forward with whatever comes. If I get normals, I will transfer ASAP and just see what happens. If I don't - who knows? I just know that I can't wait anymore. This whole thing has been too much waiting as it is.

9 comments:

Jill M. said...

Oh gosh, I totally know what you mean about IVF messing you up. I'm still not back to normal and am still ovulating cd20 at the earliest.

I know you've been wanting to get your hair done for awhile now. You should post a pic of your new do. That is very sweet of you to donate to locks of love!

Hope you hear back on your CGH babies very soon and that it's fab news!

Polly Gamwich said...

I totally get you about not liking all the shallow conversation. I too am that way - I'm thinking we'd make good friends IRL.

And isn't it just ridiculous that the ladies at the salon were "prepped" with your news by the neighor? I mean, is that not YOUR news to share?

That's got to be hard having your mom move out and you not know where you're going ... sounds like a long story, but I'm curious if she knows of your probable plans to move?

I can't imagine how on edge you must be at 3w5d ... cuz they HAVE come as early as 4w ... so it really could be any day ... OR it could be another 2w .... AHHHH!!!

Looking forward to some good news soon ...

Kris said...

How awesome that you are donating to Locks of Love! I would love to do that by my naturally curly crazy hair drives me crazy when it gets to a certain length and it needs to be cut!

I know what you mean about women. I love hanging out with women, but there are a bunch in my neighborhood and other groups that I know that do this tiptoeing around stuff when they should really just say what they need to and be direct. All of that backbiting gets on my nerves.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Need photos of your new cut!

And you're not the only one who has heard terrible stories lately. For a long time I thought it was me. It seemed like everyone (ok, not everyone, but a lot) of people I knew were going through IF and ART. I was starting to question if I wasn't some type of bad luck friend or something.

And that is stressful about your mom.

kayjay said...

I was going to post a question on the IVFC boards about being screwed up after your cycle b/c it's CD13 and I always have my LH surge on CD11 so not a lot is going on down there for me yet which is wierd. I guess I'm not the only one! My digestion has also been off as well and my TCM doctor put me on a week's worth of heavy probiotics to help make my digestion better so that might help you as well.

Very cool about your hair - I'm doing the same thing except I donate mine to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths but it is nice to know that I am helping someone.

I hope you get your CGH results soon and that they are AWESOME!!

Lost in Space said...

I so feel you on this one. I tried to "treat" myself to a new cut and color (which I never do) and ended up listening to all the ladies in there bitch about their diets and how hard it was to take it off after baby #2 or 3, etc. Then a woman with a newborn came in and sat right in my view anytime I looked in the mirror. Of course, then it was all about "I remember when mine were that little........" Some treat at the salon.

What a craptastic time you have had with those women. It is not a surprise that you dislike it so much.

I so hope your wait is over soon and the results are great!!! I can't imagine what that even feels like. Hang in there......

Nikki said...

Me too - love direct conversations! Can't do too much small talk either!

My heart goes out to that man at your salon - I hope his baby makes it! So many scary stories going around recently...

I hope you get your results soon, so maybe you can let go of your cell phone for a bit! :-)

Good luck!

DAVs said...

Yay for haircuts. I need one, too. My hair grows like crazy and I know it's too long for my frame...

It is interesting about the environment and what's going on lately--infertility on the rise, autism on the rise, so many other things on the rise. I wouldn't doubt there's a link.

Your mom is moving one mile away? Hmmmmm....

MamaSoon said...

I know what you mean about women. that is why the IF community shocked me. Love it!

Like Bea, I want hair pics too!

The wait for the call is very anxiety producing.