Thursday, March 26, 2009

Miscellany

I haven't posted in a while because nothing much is happening. I am just waiting for results, trying to enjoy my time off, trying to lose some of the extra IVF weight and taking it easy. In the meantime, Brett has been sick. We woke up this morning and he thought something was in his throat. He bent over to get his toothbrush and gagged! I had a look and swore that his tonsils were swollen - so much so that they were sitting on his tongue. Well, we got to the doctor's office and found out it was his uvula swollen so much that it really was literally sitting on his tongue. Isn't that nuts? The poor guy is lucky he could still swallow food. The doctor said that it is pretty typical after being sick. It is usually viral but can also be caused by strep throat, so he took a culture and told us they'd be in touch. He did give Brett one dose of an antibiotic in case it is strep throat, we can head it off at the pass by starting the antibiotic right away and then if it really is needed, he can call in a prescription tomorrow. Crazy huh?

We also had to get our passports updated since we are planning a trip to Mexico in July to go to Brett's sister's wedding. The wedding has been planned since the fall. When I was pregnant I told everyone I was unlikely to go because my estimated due date was July 9 and her wedding is on the 11th. So, though I was very happy to be asked to be a bridesmaide and I'd love a trip to sunny Mexico, I had to say that Brett would maybe try to make it by himself (though he wasn't sure either, depending on how the pregnancy was going etc). Well, now that we miscarried, we have decided to go forward with the plans. But again, I had to tell my sister in law (the one that I love, not the other one:-)) that we may still be pregnant before the wedding and, if so, there is a chance that I won't be able to make it. Well, she has been incredibly sweet and considerate and still bought me a dress to be a bridesmaide, arranged our flight and hotel there, actually, she's done everything to make it so that we can go but, while doing so, tells me that she hopes I don't make it b/c I am pregnant. Isn't that sweet? And, I have to admit, there is a part of me that just wants to go to Mexico, enjoy the family and the party, and be a part of her wedding. But then I don't think I can wait until after July to transfer if I have any normal embryos. We are set to fly out on July 9th - my EDD. And, to be honest, I desperately want to be pregnant by that date. I'm not sure how I will handle it if I am not. My heart just broke with that miscarriage and its not that I want to trade one beautiful baby for another, but I want to feel that hope again by the time the due date rolls around. So, I struggle between feeling really bad that I am trying my hardest not to make it to the wedding and just dying to get to transfer and hopefully be pregnant. I've also considered traveling even if I am pregnant, but to be honest, I know CCRM has a "no traveling while in the first trimester" rule and I don't always agree with it because I have learned that a baby willl stay in and grow when it is healthy and there is nothing in the world that you can do to keep a baby that isn't healthy inside. Especially in the first trimester. However, I also know that once I get pregnant, I will be afraid to do anything to jeopardize it. I've even asked my nurse at CCRM why they have this rule and she said they want me always close to good healthcare and doctors and nurses who know me and my case. I will definitely not get that in Mexico. So there I stand. I would be very sad to miss out on a beautiful event with people I love in a tropical destination but I still feel like I need to try to miss out on it by being pregnant. What would you guys do? Do you think I am crazy for feeling this way and trying to rush forward? I mean, the embryos don't need to go in right away...they aren't aging. I just feel like I want to do this for my own psychological well being.

So, that is it, really. I am still keeping busy caring for my mom's 3 dogs and my 2. We took the old man to the Vet and got him some better meds for arthritis care and found out he is hypothyroid (just like me!), so he started doggy synthroid yesterday. I am nervous every day about getting a phone call from Dr. G (ever since I found out the results are coming in sooner than later) but am probably being silly since my results will probably be coming in 3 weeks from now.

13 comments:

Kris said...

It is so hard to know what to do. Could you wait until you get your testing results and then decide for sure what to do, ie, tx before Mexico or wait until you get back? I would so want to tx right away, but I feel like I have already put so much on hold for our IF and that sometimes I just want to live my life.

mlg- believe-n-miracles said...

That is a tough one and I could go either way, and I totally understand wanting to just try right away, but maybe the trip is a good thing, and then you can face all this craziness, that will be waiting for you.
I am here, whatever you decide :)

kayjay said...

Hmmm. Tough choice but kudos to your SIL for doing and saying the right things about the situation! On one hand, I am trying not to live my life on hold these days so my thought is that if you want to do the transfer ASAP, do the transfer and deal with whatever happens afterwards. If you buy trip cancellation insurance, there usually is a clause in it that would refund you the cost of your trip in the event a doctor advise you not to travel in the 1st trimester so you could at least get your $$ back. When you've been waiting as long as we have and have suffered through so much, even a few months can feel like an eternity. GL with your decision!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

That is tough to know what to do. The idea of travel cancellation insurance is something to look into or even perhaps some kind of travel medical insurance, though I have never done either and don't know much about them.

I hope you are pregnant before the wedding. It would be hard to enjoy yourself knowing the significance of the date. I am sure you will come to the best decision.

JJ said...

If it were me, I'd move forward with the transfer regardless of the wedding, b/c I'm just so damn desperate to be pregnant. And you're right about wanting to be pregnant again when your due date rolls around. I had a hard time on Feb 25th which wd have been my due date (I lost the pregnancy earlier than you, at 5w2d), and the fact that we got the microarray results a few days before was my saving grace.... So I understand your wanting to go ahead. I'm waiting impatiently for your results - I really hope they come in soon. I think you're at about 5 weeks now. Should be round the corner!

Nikki said...

Oh man - that's a tough call. I know I've spent years pushing vacations / trips back because "What if I'm pregnant?", and that has resulted into many vacations not taken, and I'm not pregnant either! :-(

Know that whatever decision you make will be the right decision for you.

I hope Brett feels better soon, and I hope the lab results don't come back with anything major!

Jill M. said...

It is so difficult to let anything delay us getting pg since we all wanted to be pg years ago. Tough decision! Awesome that she is being so cool and ok with either decision, that takes a lot of pressure off you.

Hope your dh gets better soon!

Fashionably Infertile said...

I would say go with the flow chica. Your SIL is totally being a doll. You are going to be preggers so I would just keep that in the back of your mind. I also know how hard it is to wait and put things on hold. So if you feel like you need to plow through towards your FET..than do it! I am just praying your results come back any day now. Everytime you update your blog I get butterflys!!! Hoping you are enjoying your free time. I also hope Brett gets better.

Sky said...

Do I think you're crazy for "rushing" this and wanting to get the babies in? NOT AT ALL!

OMG girl! You (and I and most of us) are LONG beyond the point of "rushing" things. Once you've reached true "infertility" and RE's and paying amounts that could buy you new cars each try, you are NEVER rushing it.

It's been LONG enough for most of us. Waiting a month can seem an eternity, never mind longer.

You do what you need to do for YOU.

DAVs said...

I agree with the other ladies. Follow your heart and if you want the transfer ASAP, just do it!

And I'm sorry about your poor DH's swollen uvula. Yowza!

Lost in Space said...

I would just keep moving forward with a transfer when you are ready. A month or more in the world of IF gets to be unbearable after awhile.

It sounds like you have an incredible SIL! You could always throw a little party (with Mexican flair of course) for them when they return where you can all look at pictures and hear all about it from everyone that was there. A way to still "be there".

DonnaPetit said...

I vote for getting pregnant and staying home. Besides, with your luck you'd drink something 'tainted' and get sick, missing the wedding cuz you're stuck in the bathroom! Brett can go and send you pictures, it'll be close enough!

momsoon said...

I'm with the ladies, you do what feels right to you and those who love you will support you...
The only thought I had was, that the trip to mexico may be the perfect 'primer' to get the body relaxed and happy before your little embies come 'home' and nestle in for nine months??!!
lots of good thoughts going your way for your results to come back soon...peace