Thursday, March 5, 2009

plans, plans and more plans

So, the first thing I do when I get bad IF news is cry my freaking eyes out - like, ugly crying, with red, puffy eyes, big red nose, and pathetic sobbing noises. Then, after that is done, I plan. Then I bring DH in on planning. It seems to make us feel better. So, we have a plan. I know some of you think I am crazy, that 4 eggs going out to test for CGH from a 34 year old are likely to yield at least one, if not two, normals. But, here is my situation - I am a doomsday planner. Originally from right near NYC (well, okay, my town was half in Queens half in Nassau county on LI), I was raised with cynicism and negative optimism (seems weird to say, but that is what it is). So, for my sanity I need to look at the worst case scenario (ironically, before yesterday DH and I thought our worst case scenario was only 6 making it to testing - lol- we even said that out loud b/c the embryologist said we will definitely get 4 from this cycle, maybe more, and then those 2 frozen), so now I am really in a worst-case scenario "the sky is falling" mentality. So...here's the plan....

Yes, we wait for the results and still hope...But in the meantime, my local clinic said that we are likely to have 3 more fresh IVF cycles covered entirely by our new insurance. Tracy, who is an amazing person, is the person who works at the insurance stuff. She has been researching this for us for the last few weeks. If this is the case, and we get no normals, we really will plug along forward with a few more fresh IVF's because they are there and they are free and I think a blitz campaign to get tons of eggs will eventually yield at least one normal. Given that, I will insist that they put me on the long lupron protocol or if they insist on MDL then I will insist on BCP's. I can do this. In the meantime I have been researching donor eggs. My old clinic has had some success with DE but, as we all know, insurance does not take kindly to DE. So, I found a clinic that has an incredible shared risk program for DE cycles that, amazingly, I appear to qualify for. So, DH and I will have to start saving again to do this program. I don't know much about the center, but I am researching the waiting list, etc, and I am hoping I can find people who have done DE there. I am actually kind of excited about this. God, I would have done this years ago if anyone suggested I had a freaking egg problem...and we would have had money for this years ago.


So there it is...more free IVF cycles locally (no their lab does not even compare) but, strangely, I've always had nicely graded embryos there. Save up money. Do DE. Finally relax.

In the meantime, we wait for results. I'm not stressed about it....at all. I was more stressed about this part of it. Today I start doing yoga, exercising. I had a couple of glassses of wine last night and a cup of coffee this morning, lol, I am a party animal.

On another note...when I got to Denver last week I stayed at the Staybridge Suites near the Park Meadows Mall. It is a decent hotel, comfy, with great amenities for bed rest and such. Well after about one day, that miserable back pain I've been having (that I was worried was the fibroid) was gone. Totally gone. I did yoga, I did a lot of walking, I had huge swollen ovaries. Yet my back was fine. I got home. Back pain is back. I've never had back pain - usually all that yoga kept me nice and strong and comfy in my own body. I've just realized that it is my stupid mattress. A mattress that we only bought about 8 months ago! So, for the last 2 nights Brett and I have been sleeping on the futon in the family room. My back is fine. Unbelievably, we have to buy a new mattress. I did call the place we bought it and they are sending someone out to check out if it is defective (it has body depressions after only 8 months and we aren't really big people AT ALL), but I doubt they will say there is a problem. I really really don't want to spend money on this but I am so miserable I don't know what to do. We are hitting mattress stores this weekend to see if we can get a reasonably priced one with a 30 day return promise if we hate it. Any suggestions? the one we have is a Simmons and I will never buy Simmons again...

16 comments:

DAVs said...

Wow what a plan! That is so awesome to have THREE MORE FREE IVFs. I wouldn't even know what to do with that, besides a little happy dance all over the room for about a week! And you may not even need it!

JJ said...

Great that you're making plans. I'm exactly the same as you, always need to know the next step and immediately feel better. If you plan for the worst, then it'll be a great surprise if things turn out much better (which I think they will). I hope those results come in asap. Meanwhile, glasses of wine sound like a fantastic idea!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I can't believe your insurance will cover three more IVFs but no DEs. What's up with that? It seems like they should...or at least let you choose which. And hooray for finding the cause of your back pain.

Jill M. said...

Wow, that sounds like a fail safe plan there! I'm a planner too, it helps to get through the hard times by knowing you're not at the end of your rope. Unfortunately, I have no idea what my plan is, so I'm going nuts.

Holy crap, 3 free IVFs???? That's incredible!!! I hope you don't need them, but wow! I don't see how you wouldn't come out on top with all these options. Best wishes!

Sky said...

Sue, I LOVE your planning mind. I do the same thing. Even if I feel excellent about something (like my DE chances), I still try to make a Plan B. The hard thing is that after DE, there really is no Plan B (well, adoption but I'm sooo leary on that for a dozen reasons). This mild neurosis must be a NY Metro area thing.

On a good note, you have 3 free IVF cycles (that's such a blessing) - which means, Plan B, C and D and then DE - which would be Plan E.

Personally, I think you're going to hit the jackpot on Plan A. :)

momsoon said...

Awesome news- three free ivf's?! Right on!!!!

That is so comforting to have as a safety net-although I still think those 4 embies might surprise you... (say 3 normal, 80% success, isn't that a couple of bambinos??!!!)


Let me know if you find a great mattress- I know what that is about-hell, I can't even find us good pillows (its a real issue-we now own about 20 and still wake up with sore necks!!?@#!!)

I know someone who invested in one of those swedish memory foam ones-she swears it has changed her life, but then again, I don't think she was investing in starting her family with medical assistance!!!!

Have an awesome time, now that your body is finished all that hard work. Enjoy your wine and coffee (isn't is fun to be so wreckless??!!) Namaste.

mlg----- said...

3 for free, WOW! I would be dancing on the ceiling! And you may not even need to use them. I totally agree about planning, I have to plan, and I usually drive DH nusts with my scenarios.
Coffee and wine, I LOVE IT, you wildthang!
I think DH and I hav ethe same mattress as you! You described it exactly. Ours is Serta, dont buy that either.
BTW I nominated you for an award.

kayjay said...

Oh please...have another cup of coffee for me :)

I'm glad you have a plan and a direction to go in. I am a planner too and all of this waiting around for the other shoe to drop drives me crazy. Even if I don't like what I have planned next, at least it is somewhere to go next and that can't possibly be any worse than where I am now right? Amazing news about the 3 covered IVFs - isn't that kind of like winning a lottery or something? GL with everything.

Houghton Crew said...

Tracy is the best, isn't she? I love her. Thank goodness for free IVFs! I'm sorry everything has been such a rollercoaster for you Sue. But you go girl for planning and taking some of that control that IF takes away from you back. I'm holding on to hope for those 4 embryos for you--I'll be the positive optimist to your negative. :)

Polly Gamwich said...

I love your plan. I can't believe you have three more free IVF's ... that's amazing!

As far as the mattress goes: Tempurpedic. I know they are $$$ but they have the 30 (or is it 90) day return policy. Tho they NEVER go on sale ... because they don't have to. They are that good.

I basically went to mattress row (a street with lots of mattress sales places all in a row) and I walked into each store, told them I was buying a tempurpedic today. I asked each store what the other was offering and what they could do for me.

In the end I got: a 1 year $180/mo payment plan that was interest free, a free mattress frame (big whoop), 2 free pillows thrown in, the 30/90 day return policy, and the best part: they discounted me the taxes.

DH and I both have back problems ... but not any more.

Good luck!

Nikki said...

Love your plan!! Yay for 3 more IVFs - hopefully you don't need to use ANY of them!!

For mattress - a) have you considered just flipping the mattress over? Sometimes the springs (or whatever they are) are better on the other side. If you have to buy a new one, I'd suggest a temperpeudic or posturepeudic one. I'm a fan of hard mattresses - helps the back.

Good luck and I hope your back feels better soon!

momsoon said...

BTW- For your good work, constant encouragement and stupendous plan making-You have won an award on me blog...

Me said...

We have a tempurpedic. It's very different than a regular mattress. And actually, it's a little firm for my tastes. But I've gotten used to it and I do NOT have back pain like my old mattress would occasionally give me.

Fashionably Infertile said...

I wish I had your energy and strength! I think you have a great plan in place. I too have 3 fresh (FREE) IVF cycles left and plan to use them all...if need be. How did I not know you were from the Queens area?! I am from Long Island ;)

Now you just need to get back in your yoga practice, enjoy the extra hour of daylight...and before you know it, your GREAT CGH results will be back!

PS - wish I had mattress advise. DH and I are in desperate need as well.

Retro Girl said...

That's amazing about the free cycles! Planning is great - especially since you don't bypass the "letting-it-all-out" phase beforehand. Sometimes I jump to the plan phase direct...and then the tears and sobs are just sitting right there...waiting for me to let them out. The way you deal is much healthier!

Here's hoping there's no need for your back-ups!

MamaSoon said...

That rocks on the 3 ivfs covered but my hope for you is that this is the one. That your normals already exist and that you are not going to need anymore cycles. :-)

That sucks about the mattress. Can they take them back?