Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bye bye Scrooge?

I've been having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit which is really frustrating to me. I used to love to put up our tree, shop, watch the Christmas specials and overall, just have a great season. I counted the months in May, when we were going for that last transfer and thought I'd have the easiest Christmas ever if I got pregnant because I'd already be well into the third trimester, be feeling very pregnant, and know that the baby could live outside of me at this stage...what could be better? What I didn't count on was the fact that we've had some horrible Christmases in recent years that, though I don't dwell on them, has made us "out of practice" with this holiday. As much as my will to enjoy it is there...its been hard. Two years ago, we found out on December 23rd that I was pregnant! but, the numbers were bad...and it was likely to miscarry or be an ectopic. Well, it was an ectopic. Crappy Christmas. Last year, I was pregnant!!!! But, on December 12th our little angel was taken away...Brett and I got the cheapest tree we could find, decorated it with maybe 4 boxes of our least favorite ornaments and just tried to "nod" to the holiday and tried to get through it. This year, we are all set to do it up right...but we are both lagging. Its strange, because we are really really thrilled. TRUST ME. I'm not doing the "woe is me b/c I'm finally pregnant" thing....I'm just commenting on how odd it is to feel like I want to celebrate but almost feel like I don't know how to enjoy it anymore! We got a beautiful tree!

I've been shopping for family and friends, we decorated outside...

and I even found the dog Christmas costumes we bought a few years ago:

As you can see...Harley is Nekkid...but that is only b/c Sherman ate her hat before we noticed it. So, she was allowed to be free and happy and the poor guy was solely subject to such abuse. The chihuahua did not cooperate at all...she doesn't put up with nonsense (is SOOOO above it) so she doesn't get featured today.

In any event, its been weird. I am working on it. Hopefully I can learn how to be fun again...and be light. I don't want to count on Teagan to teach me all of that again...I'd like to be back to my old self BEFORE she comes along...but I'm not sure that is possible. In any event, this holiday is going to be fun damnit!
On another note...I AM 30 WEEKS TODAY!!! How great is that? Yesterday we visited a friend who had triplets a little over a year ago and Brett and I got to spend time with all 5 of them:-) They were born at 30 weeks 2 days and they are gorgeous and healthy and funny. It was the right thing to put us in the mood for the holidays and lighten our spirits....and be thankful for ONE beautiful little one in there (kidding)....but wow that is a lot of work!
So, in the holiday spirit, I've altered the blog to pay respects to the sillier side of the holiday season!


PJ said...

The dog pics totally cracked me up! So cute!

Your tree is fantastic!

We typically spend Thanksgiving in Ohio with one set of family and Christmas in North Carolina with the other set. We live in Virginia. We have decorations and stuff, but we haven't used them in a while because, well, it feels like a lot of work if we aren't going to be here. I'm hoping and looking forward to next year, because I really feel like Christmas is more about kids than anything else. I CANNOT wait to play Santa!

Two are gonna totally kick our butts! LOL! :)

Amber said...

The tree and the house look great!!

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time getting into the swing of the holidays, but it's totally understandable with the way the last 2 Christmases have gone.

I'd say crank up the Xmas radio stations, turn on the holiday TV specials and keep decorating (and perhaps involve poor nekkid lil Harley lol), and the Christmas spirit will be shoved so far down your throats there will be no turning back! lol

Have fun- next year you will have to juggle the tree, decorations, and gift shopping/wrapping with diaper changes and feedings!!! :-P

Barefoot said...

Congrats on finding your Christmas spirit! I have been having a bit of the same problem, despite the fact that I am (if all goes well) getting the ultimate gift this year. Beautiful tree!!!

Not Your Aunt B said...

It all looks so pretty. I think your reaction to Christmas is pretty understandable. It's not like you're going to magically forget the last two Christmases.

I love the photos of the dogs. I heart boxers.

lastchanceivf said...

Be gentle with yourself. Your past two Christmases were nothing short of awful. I think sometimes it takes having a positive memory to replace a bad one before it isn't so automatic to feel sad. I am hopeful that this Christmas, with a 30+ week pregnancy, and then the NEXT Christmas, with a real live little baby will just make those lousy ones fade further and further into the past.

Jill M. said...

Wow, 30 weeks??? Enjoy the holidays, this year there's nothing but great news. You're doing great on the decorating, we haven't put up anything.

Lost in Space said...

When you face so many difficult Christmases in a row it makes sense that you're having a rough go of things when thinking back. It sounds like you are finding your spirit. Grieve your losses as you need to and enjoy the parts you are ready for. It is all a process!

I think I'm in love with Sherman BTW. LOL. Too cute!

DonnaPetit said...

That pic of Sherman? I literally laughed out loud all by myself at 6:00 in the morning! My dogs just looked at me like I'm crazy. You're decorating and doing all the right 'Christmassy' things, perhaps the spirit will sneak in when you least expect it!

Me said...

OMFG - I LMAO @ Sherman. I LOVE IT!