Thursday, October 7, 2010

Responses and Babysitting

Thank you so much for your responses to my last post. I was actually wondering if I was in the minority or majority there and it looks like there are a lot of others like me. I think the IVF experience is different for everyone, our bodies are different, our experiences are different, etc. I think the biggest concern for me this time is taking Teagan on a flight to Denver, lol. That is what I am losing sleep over. Let me explain: My little girl is no shrinking violet, no wall flower, no....noone puts baby in the corner! She is constantly active, constantly moving and trying to grab things, walk, talk...we went to sushi last night with my sister in law, brother in law, and their baby girl. For the last hour or so, Teagan would yell at the top of her lungs, not because she was unhappy, but because she wanted to make that noise. She'd smile, and let it out, then look around. There was no distracting her, no shutting her up with food, nothing. I hope that doesn't happen on the plane.

About babysitting. I've noticed lately that we don't go anywhere and we are absolutely fine with that, however, everyone else seems to be worried. I've had comments from friends and family offering their babysitting services so that we can go to the movies, or have a "date night". I've had people say, "when was the last time you guys got out alone?" and then look wide eyed and somewhat frightened when we say we don't usually do that (we did it for 2 nights while the state fair was in town so that we could go to a concert and that is it since she was born). All I want to say to these people, is please don't feel sorry for us! If we are feeling overwhelmed, we will definitely seek help, I promise. For now, we are really just enjoying it. We love being together as a family. We are doing the same exact thing we did before she was born, but now we have her. I don't know how to explain it. The end result is that we enjoy the family, Teagan goes to bed at 7 and mommy and daddy have date night every night:-) Does that sound crazy? Probably not to the rest of you IFers...but to those who easily had a baby or don't have any babies or their babies are grown up? I think it must sound crazy because of the looks we get. I mean, we went through YEARS of infertility treatments where we were home alot because of the meds, or because we were poor as a result of IF treatments, or we were just depressed. Now, we are home doing stuff around the house and playing with our baby and then sitting on the couch together, cuddling each other and the dogs while we listen to the baby monitor, what could be better?

We now have wonderful family nearby. Brett's sister and her husband and 10 week old are just 25 minutes away, my mom is within walking distance, a next door neighbor whose amazing 21 year old daughter has offered to babysit and loves our little one, and Brett's mom is far away but willing to travel to take care of our little monkey...all of these people are amazing, but we just (at the moment) have no need. I mean, we are happy and don't really want to go anywhere (not that we could afford to anyway, lol, we are on a SERIOUS budget for this IVF). I'm not sure if we are crazy and should take everyone up on this or if it is okay...but there it is, right? I doubt we'll regret it:-)


Pie said...

No, you are not crazy! I tend to be a homebody too - nothing is more fun than hanging out at home with DH and the cat - and I can't wait to add our daughter to the mix in a few months. It's not like we've been out a ton pre-pregnancy, but I'm sure people think - oh, you need a break. Not realizing that being home with the whole family is what you worked years to get. Enjoy it!

Jill M. said...

Sounds like Teagan found her voice! It's so cute at home, but in public it's dreadful. Tyler is just starting to find his and he continues to get louder and louder.

I'm so on the same page as you regarding babysitting. Everyone wants to babysit for us and give us a date night. They don't understand that we'd much rather be home spending time with our little man than go out.

You just sit back and enjoy every minute of that little girl!

Kris said...

Caden also screams like that for fun and then he smiles at us to make sure we heard it. I love it and love that he is finding his voice. I often have to tell people that he is screaming because he is happy, not because he is upset :)

About date night....we were the same way with Logan when he was born. The first year of his life I think we only went out a couple of times for specific functions, not just "date night" for the two of us. We loved being home with him and having our time after he went to bed to be with each other. Now that we have also have the twins we do tend to go out a little bit more, but not much. We are mostly out for specific functions, but we have thrown a few more "date nights" into the mix now too. We find that with three children (vs. one, Logan) that we need to get out more so that we can have actual conversations. Sure we talk before we go to bed every night, but it is nice to be out and carefree and able to connect with each other which is hard to do having three children. With Logan we had plenty of time to do this, but now time is more scarce :)

kayjay said...

We get the same offers as well and my little ones go to bed between 6 and 6:30 (it used to be 5:30!) so we do have a chunk of time ahead of us in the evenings but by the time I pump, get dinner ready and then we relax a bit, it's time to pump again at around 9:30pm and then we go to bed early. Real exciting stuff, but we're happy and not craving to go out. We almost didn't even go out for dinner for our 10 year anniversary - decided last minute to go out at the prodding of my Mom but other than that, we don't go out much either. I don't think you're crazy at all - just normal given what you've been through and how hard you've worked to have your family. They always tell you to be thankful for what you've got - well, we're thankful. Really thankful and you shouldn't feel weird for enjoying your family.

lastchanceivf said...

I think--and I am absolutely only able to comment from observation here, not personal experience--that the real danger is losing yourself as a couple (this is not what I'm saying you're doing). So many people do that--they become so tied up in their identity as mom and dad they forget about the whole husband and wife. But it sounds like you guys are completely and totally keeping the identities alive--as BOTH parents AND a couple, and that's what's important. How many times do you hear people say "wow, we looked up and realized our kids were grown and we had forgotten how to be a couple"--which is a scary thought but one I doubt IFers will have because they strengthened their couplehood so much in the quest for parenthood. Do what feels right for you and don't let others make you doubt yourself!

Kristen and Kiko said...

Hey there! So I've been off the grid and now catching up on my blog and everyone else's blogs! You are trying for another baby!?! Yippee!! I am so happy and pray it works!! I saw your post on my blog about your friend doing IVF in my area! I'm curious how it turned out for her! Let me know! PS - Teagan is just BEAUTIFUL!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Most people realize a baby is going to make noise and think nothing of it. So I'm sure it will be just fine.

I'm in the same boat as far as babysitting. My mom keeps offering to take the baby so DH and I can go to dinner or have time alone or...whatever. I don't know why she doesn't believe me when I tell her we're fine and I don't want to go to dinner without the baby. We're pretty much living the same life too, plus baby. Now that I'm about to go back to work, I want to be with him every minute until we MUST be separated!