Monday, July 6, 2009

Last ultrasound at old RE's office!!!

It was great! I was in an absolute panic. The next two weeks are going to be the scariest time for me, I think. I know the last two nights I've been waking up in the middle of the night and getting nervous about the ultrasound but this morning I was feeling okay until we got into the ultrasound room. Then my blood pressure went a little high and I started freaking out. When the nurse came in, I had to tell her that I was shaking b/c I was so scared of the ultrasound machine! But she agreed that when you've seen a heartbeat one week and the following week, you walk into the room thinking you will see it again, and there is no heartbeat, it is scarring. She said I will probably always feel that way about ultrasounds. But, on to the good news...and more pics. The nurse (who was different this week and was very nice) said that we'd get right to it so that we can put me more at ease...well, in goes the wand, and immediately, there is our sweet little baby...and it's heartbeat! We poked around looking at its head and little arm and leg buds...which were moving! Then we got to hear the heartbeat and measure it, which was at a nice, strong 167 bpm! So, everything went well. I went from shaking in fear to crying with relief. I've literally spent the last few weeks pretending that I am not pregnant so that I can get through this trimester...and today, for the first time, I actually felt some hope and relief. So, here are some pictures:
This one is a little blurry, but we were actually able to see the little head and little arm and leg buds in this image while it was on the screen.


Here is the heartbeat one. It is further away but shows the cute little body in the sac and the beautiful hb!
That was my last u/s at the local RE's office! I'm sure I will have at least one more blood test there as CCRM tries to wean me off of the estrogen and progesterone, but I have my first appointment at the OB's office on Monday! This is great news...but is also scary. This is the exact appointment that I found out the bad news last time I was pregnant- our first appointment at the OB's office. Last time it was slighly later - about 9 weeks and 3 days when this time we will be there at 9 weeks 1 day, but it is still a very anxious time for me. Luckily, we changed OB's offices since the other one had some odd practices and both Brett and I were uncomfortable with how they handled things. So, a fresh start! Hopefully a totally different result!
On another note, this week marks my estimated due date for that pregnancy. The due date was July 9th. I've never really been one to dwell on this and make much of it, but this time feels different...we had already gotten far enough to really feel this was a viable pregnancy...and I had already pictured myself huge and hot in the July weather...so I am very thankful that I am pregnant again and have some hope as this week comes and goes, but I am sad to think of what could have been and the baby that was almost ours.

8 comments:

Pie said...

Congrats, what a strong HB! S/he looks so cute!

Jill M. said...

So happy for you Sue! What an awesome appt! I totally understand how this upcoming u/s is a scary time for you. It's really sad that after all it took to become pg, that we have to endure all these constant fears. But just think, this baby has already been deemed chromosomally normal, that's huge! Hugs

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Yay! Hope your first official OB appointment goes well. Sending positive thoughts your way!

Kris said...

Congrats on a great u/s! I don't think that fear will go away until you are holding your baby in your arms. I had my 3rd u/s at 9w5d on Thursday I was still super nervous and anxious about it.

Congrats, Graduate! That is awesome!

Sky said...

If I could find the right words to snap you out of the fear, I'd use them on myself. Going from pure elation to catastrophe is MEANT to scar you and jolt the hell out of you forever, I guess. Had my chemical pregnancy last summer not happened, I'd have a 4 month old (and a LOT of extra money in the bank!).

Let's just hang onto the belief that this time is this time - brand new and healthy. This time is not at all last time.

meinsideout said...

Anniversaries can be hard. I am glad that you are doing well, that the baby is doing well and thanks for sharing the pics!!!

DAVs said...

What a cute little nubbins!!

Lost in Space said...

So glad to hear/see all is going so well! Hugs on all the fears. I hope each day becomes a little easier.