Monday, August 9, 2010

panic over, now just annoyed

Thamk you all for your comments! (and for not saying I am being overly dramatic!!!!). I seem to be feeling very overwhelmed lately and it may be from hormones or from the incredible stress from stopping breastfeeding (and its not like I don't know stressful, law school graduate, worked with judges, um, 7 IVFs!, had both fiance and brother fighting a war in Iraq at the same time, etc....this was still very very stressful). Anyway, the end is a no-go on restarting the milk supply. I thought I was in the clear because when I decided to restart, I immediately pumped 5 oz, so I thought that would restart it and it wouldn't be that bad. But, my breasts never refilled with milk. I can start the process of "relactation" but I don't think I have the committment anymore...basically, I'd have to have Teagan on the breast constantly (even though she'd get no milk, frustrating!), be constantly pumping and taking herbs and all of this would have to go on for weeks before it was likely I'd even see any milk. So, the end result, I have to put off the cycle for financial reasons and work convenience reasons even though I had to stop breastfeeding early. I am kind of upset.

When I was stopping breastfeeding, Brett and I sat down to discuss whether a cycle this fall was really possible. We said it totally was, or we'd make it possible. We both agreed I had to stop breastfeeding. The pain ensued, but I did it. Now, my poor little girl has what appears to be a yeast rash on her tushy, I can't breastfeed her anymore, and I'm not cycling anyway. All of a sudden, we just can't do the cycle this fall.

Anyway, I'll try to get the ODWU in before December shut-down so we don't lose the FSA money and I hope we don't postpone this even more....hopefully things work out.


Blossom and Her Fruit said...

I am not clear on why you can't cycle this fall but that really does suck. I know you've made massive sacrifices to get ready.

can they use the money for other things such as getting cycle meds?

And... i thought you had to use FSA by March. Can you call your plan admin and ask if they have the Until-March rule? That could make a difference.

Good luck at the pediatrician today and with T's rash.

Jill M. said...

OMGosh!!! I know that has to be so frustrating! First you can't get your boobs to stop producing, now they won't produce! That stinks, I'm so sorry!

On Blossom's comment, I thought the until March thing means that you have till March to submit your receipts but the date of service still has to be by the end of year? At least that's how my FSA works.

Polly Gamwich said...

Sue, I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. I was totally scared this would happen to us, and I moved forward with the best info I had - knowing I was making a decision that I might regret. But I did what I had to (and yes, ok, it worked out for me) but I want to encourage you that you made a GREAT choice with the information you had. You did not choose to give a rash to little Teagan's tushy - it was purely bad luck. I hope you can find another formula solution soon that works better.

As far as the money spending this year ... I did exactly what you want to do. I paid for my entire cycle in Dec of 2008 at CCRM and didn't cycle until April 2009 ... no problem. Here's how: I went in for my 1DWU in late Oct, I queued up for a cycle in Dec (I paid for it and all) ... then I opted not to continue on with it. I asked that they keep the money, that I'd do the cycle the next opportunity we had ... and I didn't end up cycling until April. (BC I had a failed FET in Jan)

Anyhow ... not sure when you're thinking of cycling but if it's in early 2011, perhaps you could do something similar?

I'm sorry this is all so stressful - hugs,

kayjay said...

Sue - I'm so sorry I've been MIA and not offering support when you needed it.

First of all - totally bummed with you regarding the having to stop BF and then not being able to cycle. Poor Teagan and her rash...I know how awful it is to see them break out in a rash and wonder just how uncomfortable it's making them. Victoria breaks out into a rash all over her body every time she gets a vaccine shot and it stinks so I know how you feel. What I think has helped is Aveeno makes this soothing baby bath soak out of colloidal oatmeal which seems to help my baby's skin so you may want to try that with Teagan as they do recommend it for all sorts of rashes - even those appearing in the diaper area.

I sort of did the same thing that Polly did - I canceled my cycle and told them to keep the money in account until I cycled again so I had paid for my cycle back in Nov but then didn't go through to retrieval (and therefore use the funds on account) until March the following year. Can't you set up a ODW, pay for it and then cancel it before you have to go?

That sucks too about the relactation. I had no idea that it would be that hard to do. Just an idea that I will throw out there for you to think about - did you consider using a breast pump instead of having Teagan nurse to start your milk again? I never had my girls start my milk supply because they were in the NICU for the first three weeks so I was able to get my milk to come in by using a hospital grade breast pump, which you can rent rather than buy if you only need it for a short period. What also helped my milk to come in as well was to have skin on skin contact with the girls. I don't know if that would work but that is something you may want to think about as you seem really down about having to stop BF.

Hugs my friend.