not what I was hoping for

We finally got our 5 day report. They called at about 5:30 EST and talked to Brett. Today we have 2 fully expanded blastocysts that they are going to biopsy and freeze. There are 2 more that are considered "early blasts" that the embryologists is pretty sure will be fully expanded tomorrow and will be biopsied and frozen. On top of that, we have 1 compacting and 1 morula, which may catch up, but may not. The other six were not likely to make it to be biopsied. The embryologists says we will get 4 (eeek.) but we may get up to 6. Brett asked about those last 6, wondering if there was a chance that they can make it to blast - he said it is possible but not probable. Then Brett said, "have you actually seen it" and he said "oh, yes, definitely". Which was us desperately looking for hope. For now, I'm not too encouraged. Actually, feel kind of crushed. Doesn't it feel like that compacting morula and morula should be good to go tomorrow too? Why do you think he is so pessimistic? is he playing it safe or are they poorly graded? Brett was smart enough to ask if any of them arrested and so far, no, all 12 are still growing, but we may only have FOUR to send for testing (plus the 2 frozen we had) - which just sucks. I guess I do have DOR....what else can I think? not at all happy...I just don't get it. So, now I have to wait...my guess is that I will hear very late tomorrow. I mean, what are the chances of getting any normals with that?

Also - in the past, at my local clinic, I'd get maybe 8 eggs, but on day 5, I'd have 3 blasts and a morula to transfer, so I seem to have done better locally even though CCRM has the best lab in the country! Could my fertility have declined that fast (less than a year)? It is so horribly disappointing....and I am praying that things turn around tomorrow...but I'm kind of upset.

Day 3 report

I just talked to the embryologist (after barely sleeping through the night, worrying), and the results are better than I thought (so far, ask me again in 2-3 days!). For now, 6 of the embryos are where they want them to be, 3 are 8 cell 3+, 1 is 10 cell 4-, 1 is 7 cell 3+ and the last is 6 cell 3+. The other 6 are still growing but are slower or are more fragmented. However, last cycle after they transferred 4 on day 3, they said the rest of them would fall into this slow growing/fragmented group but on day 6, they froze 2 of them at 4BB, so I am still holding out hope that a couple of them will be strong enough to make blasts.

Thank you all for your very encouraging comments. I know I sound a little like a princess because I seem to want so many, but the truth is that we always make a good number of embryos and they always look okay and yet still it never works for me (with no answers) so my big fear appears to be this decline starting from the get-go. Hence, I tend to panic at each stage, even though it appears that I am doing fine. So, thank you all for being so kind and not picking on me for being such a drama queen...your comments really do mean ALOT to me!

My mom is still in town so I am kind of off the radar for another day or two, but I can't wait to catch up with everyone in the next few days...and I'll update when I can.