transfer date set

I was going to post all about Teagan's first Christmas but that will have to wait. It seems my ideas as to blogposts tend to get so lofty that there is no way I can get them done in the 10 minutes I have when she just goes down for a nap...so here is a quick post about nothing and everything...

The transfer date is February 25. Literally, 2 days after T's birthday! I am definitely going to do the PIO - I would just be too scared to do the supps, even though they are thought to be "easier", I seem to trust the PIO better. I am also going to transfer two. eek. My RE suggests 2 because we transferred 2 to have Teagan and he thinks with my history, it is smart. We agree. However, he said to get used to the idea of possibly having twins. Ugh. So, that would be 3 in diapers. Scary to say the least. And, no, we won't have a nanny nor lots of help, and I will insist on breastfeeding exclusively for as long as it is possible (it is just my way, unless I have a nervous breakdown or someone talks some sense into me, probably). So, I'm kind of scared of this, but not nearly as scared as I am of not getting pregnant from this transfer and all the old self-doubt starting up again. We can't afford another transfer for a LOOOONG time, so this is it and I hope it works. If it works too good (and you all know that once I transfer 2, I'll pray for both to stick around, I can't seem to help myself...and if only one implants, I'll honestly cry tears of sadness, so I'm probably just insane). In any event, I would look forward to being pregnant again and possibly being able to give my baby a sibling...but we don't know if my last pregnancy was a fluke or if I can really do this thing:-) But, all around, no complaints....we have an absolutely perfect daughter.

On the self-doubt issue, we are likely to push off T's birthday celebration to March 5 th, I think, so we can have more family around, but how scary is it that I will know that same weekend whether the transfer worked? I think it is doable because I will always be happy to celebrate my daughter's birthday no matter what the result is...my only thought is that houseguests are probably a bad idea...b/c I'll be a ball of stress and possibly, sadness, you know? So, I was hoping to celebrate it earlier, like the Saturday before transfer, but it seems that the later week works much better, so there it is.

I'll have to write more at a future time. For now, I am nervous and excited and stressed all at once. The holidays were great but pretty stressful. Teagan got a lot of beautiful gifts and loved all of them...and the tree! She couldn't keep her eyes off the tree. She is also starting to walk....in fact, just before Christmas, she let go of the coffee table and took about 3-4 steps to me!!! She has been doing that pretty regularly on her own, so she's been in constant motion. Its incredibly fun but exhausting:-) More later...