I am trying to start weaning Teagan off of breastfeeding and it is KILLING me. I feel horribly guilty, mean, selfish, etc...but the truth is, if I was being selfish, I wouldn't be weaning her yet. I know that in my heart...b/c I want to keep feeding her breastmilk. I want that bond. Just thinking about it hurts. However, I also need to try for a sibling for her ASAP. I need to keep that momentum going and hopefully get a few good embryos this fall and then never have to think about it again. I love having a brother. We've had some problems in the last few years but we were inseperable growing up and had great times during our college years. Its just nice to have that sibling to be close to. When your parents are old or pass away, you have family and, hopefully, extended family. I very much want to give this to my daughter. And, so I started cutting down feedings a little. First I cut out those extra pumping sessions last week. Now I am starting to feed some of the frozen breastmilk to her and cutting out 2 more feedings a day but, by the end of this week, I need to stop entirely. So, today, I just gave her her first taste of something other than breastmilk, organic formula. She had 1 ounce of organic formula mixed in with 3 ounces of breastmilk, and she did great. I felt awful. Its hard to explain...goes straight to my self-image - but she ate it like a champ. I have 384 ounces of frozen breastmilk that I will continue to give her but I needed to make sure she'd do ok with formula before I started the process of really drying up my milk. If she does fine, we'll continue to supplement and then I'll start her on rice cereal next week or avocados or banana...we'll see (one at a time per week).
Now, regardless of my odd self-image or my crazy need to continue breastfeeding, I am committed to drying up by August...if you've weaned children from the breast, do you have any advice? I've heard someone mention sudafed....did it help you? I didn't pump last night and took an advil and went to bed. I woke up at 2 am with very painful, hard breasts but just took another advil...but then I caved this morning and pumped 10 oz! Now that I know she doesn't spit out anything with formula in it, I can start to try in earnest....
This is a super fast post since I am running out the door, but you all out there in blogland have been so helpful in the past, I was hoping someone would have some great advice. Also know this, I am not at all bashing people who have formula fed from the beginning or weaned much earlier AT ALL. I was exclusivly formula fed and am happy, healthy and well-adjusted. Breastfeeding was just a personal choice to me and I worked very hard at it in the beginning to get past serious pain and have learned to really love it. So, in addition to the emotional side of it where I am really struggling, I have no idea how to handle the physical side!!!!
7 comments:
yayy Im excited that you are thinking about a sibling for T! As for soothing yourself while trying to dry up- try putting cabbage in your bra during the day/night. Given, I dont have any kids so Ive never done it personally but all of my friends say it works for soothing and drying. Good Luck! Keep it up!
No advice here (duh) but try not to feel guilty. I feel guilty that I can't give an adopted child any breastmilk so think of all the advantages Teagan has already received just having great prenatal care and a super committed mother to breastfeed her this far! Hopefully you'll get lots of advice here and it will all go smoothly!
No advice on making it easier, unfortunately. I intend to pump exclusively but when time's up, I honestly think - as with most things - it's easier to suck it up, deal with the physical and emotional pain and get it over with quickly. The best part is that Teagan is great with the formula/milk concoction and you already know it's more than healthy from personal experience. And having a sibling is, in my opinion, a thousand times healthier than breastmilk. :)
I think gradually moving down your pumps is the way to go at least for me it was. I was faithful about pumping every 3 hours and then moved to 5 hours and then so on. Once I got to two pumps a day I just quit completely. I had no aches or pains. It only took about 3 weeks. Good luck. Hope you find something that works quick and easy for you.
Hi honey, I am sorry you are struggling with this so much. Remember that making siblings is a very very generous non-selfish thing to do and that in life we are CONSTANTLY having to make consessions and choices. You seem to have a good plan in place and I am hoping that Teagan gets a sibling quickly to giggle with. xo
I totally get how you feel, I would feel exactly the same. But don't beat yourself up, just you worry this much shows how much you love Teagan and are doing what's best for her. Hugs
Frozen Green Cabbage Leaves.....if you want to quit hardcore, this helps you get through the first 24 hours. I could not stand smelling like boiled cabbage after 24 hours, so that is all I did. It took about 3 days for the pain to subside but the froozen cabagge leaves in the bra really helped with the worst pain.
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