Will be here forever?

So, I have 2 days to my due date. I've been joking that I am going to go over the due date from the beginning in the hopes of getting myself used to the idea. I thought I got used to the idea...but I want this baby out now! I used to say that since we'd been TTC for so long that 40 weeks would be a walk in the park...its not! I swear! It takes you about 38 weeks to get used to the idea and then you are like, I'M DONE. In any event, I've had a wonderful pregnancy until this last week or so...when the sciatic pain hit and the tailbone pain hit and contractions that go nowhere started. Its like a tease. At first, Brett and I were like, ohhhh...contractions, better bring the bag down and make sure the cell phones are charged!!! Now, a contraction starts and we look at each other and go, "something to talk to the doc about on Tuesday!". Ugh. And, trust me, I am not complaining that much...I know I am blessed. I feel lucky beyond words. Its just that I can barely walk with the back pain and I do have the nesting energy without the ability to do anything about it, so it is frustrating. I have become incredibly impressed with women who have had to be on bedrest. I know if it was best for my baby/babies, I'd make myself do it but I can't even imagine how hard it is.

Anyway, so the guys at Brett's work seem to be in competition for the worst baby care stories etc. While I get all the annoying women advice, he gets the rest of it. First they tell him to get me up and walking...um, guys, I'd freaking go jogging at this point if I could just to move things along...but my right leg gives out from nerve pain!!!! He hears that one a hundred times a day. Then he hears how he'll be begging them to come over to their house to get away and watch sports in just a month. Then they tell him to make sure neither of us are committed to breastfeeding b/c it is harder than it looks...its like all negative stuff. We are aware of (but haven't experienced first hand, I know)how hard it all is that is why we aren't committed to anything but having as healthy a baby as we can and keeping our relationship strong throughout! I would like to go through labor without drugs but will definitely not beat myself up if I ask for an epidural (with all this backpain and likely to have back labor, it looks like I am almost defnitely going to get an epidural...oh well). I would love to be able to breastfeed and that is our plan but if it doesn't work out, I will do the best I can for Teagan...and Brett understands that. I mean, why make this harder than it is? I understand that they earned their "war stories" but why can't any of it be good stuff? I guess it is the same for me and the women stories...I don't think I've heard a positive birth story from IRL friends since I got pregnant. Ugh.

One other thing that I've recently noticed. I know another blogger recently mentioned that infertility affects 1 in 6 women (or was it people?) and she knows no women in her life that have experienced it so she feels alone. I just realized that when I was trying to get pregnant I felt the same way. Now that I am very pregnant and seem unable to keep my mouth shut about how we got there (why do I feel the need to educate everyone?), EVERYONE has fertility issues. Seriously. The nice older guy at the pool and his wife had a hard time. He said it took them over 6 years! They eventually had 2 girls, both of whom had to do fertility treatments to have his grandkids. The photographer who took our maternity pics recently had a m/c. The photographer who I spoke to about baby pics is pregnant but her SIL is experiencing infertility and seeking a good RE. One of the 4 pregnant women at church (we bumped into her doing her registry at Target) is having twins as a result of many IVF treatments, the last one that finally worked. I finally got in touch with a very old friend on facebook (we grew up on the same block practically) and he mentioned that he and his wife have been TTC for a while and were seeking out a doctor's care and are now embarking on their first IUI cycle soon. Its like now that I am not stressed about what will happen but have finally become a success story, so I am not all anxious about it, infertile people have appeared everywhere. It is the strangest thing. So, to all of you fellow IFers - they are all out there, all around...its just everyone is struggling and keeping it quiet because what can they say? It is so painful to all of us going through it that it is even a hard subject to broach without getting very emotional and who wants to do that with a semi-stranger, you know?

Anyway, I thought that was interesting. Now, can someone tell my baby girl that it isn't cool to be late to her own party?