tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post4002066038013765395..comments2023-08-06T23:10:47.574-07:00Comments on A Good Egg: Just relaxSuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323373273366929886noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-24005181525087272332009-02-02T17:01:00.000-08:002009-02-02T17:01:00.000-08:00Yep, I hate the so-called well-meaning people who ...Yep, I hate the so-called well-meaning people who say those things. I really hate the "just relax" speech. Sheesh! Unless they've been through what we IFers have been through, they just don't understand. I'm sorry you had to hear that from your friend...again.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06102362663976429651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-81716194092876409802009-02-02T16:57:00.000-08:002009-02-02T16:57:00.000-08:00Hugs, Sue. This is so frustrating on so many leve...Hugs, Sue. This is so frustrating on so many levels. I know people mean well, but relaxing will not lower my FSH, change the quality of my eggs, or magically make my endo disappear. Infertility is a medical condition. I can't imagine someone telling a friend with cancer to just stop doing all those chemo treatments and they will surely be cured. I'm glad you said it here and hope your friends/family are able to be more understanding to this. Hugs.Lost in Spacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07027117135940864685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-63075935629618541922009-01-30T11:19:00.000-08:002009-01-30T11:19:00.000-08:00Aaaargh, I get upset just reading about those comm...Aaaargh, I get upset just reading about those comments. I know people really mean well and just don't know what to say, but still.... My response to the "just relax" one is to tell them I was extremely relaxed and happy when we started trying. It was just when we didn't get pregnant that I starting being less relaxed. And the stories about people who adopted and then got pregnant are extremely unhelpful. I acually know two people that happened to myself, but it's not as if we'd make the very serious decision to adopt a child just so that we can get pregnant on our own. Honestly!JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07600005716649866724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-66267068757164532912009-01-29T19:40:00.000-08:002009-01-29T19:40:00.000-08:00If relaxing is what it took, there wouldn't be chi...If relaxing is what it took, there wouldn't be children born in war-torn countries. Mothers with several kids couldn't get pregnant again. <BR/><BR/>I have a person who has BEEN through IVF (4 cycles) got a child tell me this very thing on Tuesday.<BR/><BR/>I don't get it. <BR/><BR/>Hugs, Sue.Josée Martenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12774124942554313863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-90042970258930961172009-01-29T17:52:00.000-08:002009-01-29T17:52:00.000-08:00I too am very glad you posted this. I have found m...I too am very glad you posted this. I have found myself confused when someone tell me to "relax" or "i bet once you adopt you will get preggers". Yes that did happen to my mother...4 years later. I wish I knew what to say to my friends/co-workers. They have no idea what it feels like to work so hard for something that was always taught to us comes naturally. You are so strong and have gone through so much. I am honored to know you and I think your determination is what is going to get your pregnant! You have helped me get up and keep moving ahead.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-54178739596387040052009-01-29T15:59:00.000-08:002009-01-29T15:59:00.000-08:00Thanks for posting about this ~ I think the non-IF...Thanks for posting about this ~ I think the non-IF world needs to be enlightened and the more we can be open/honest about how those well-meaning comments/suggestions hurt, the better. Maybe next time, they will say something different.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00373349177873839594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-41184296238958335772009-01-29T14:48:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:48:00.000-08:00If relaxing was the cure then it would be the trea...If relaxing was the cure then it would be the treatment for infertility. Going to a spa, getting a massage, eating bon-bons. Would that be nice? Ditto for adopting. If that was the cure then everyone who was infertile would just adopt and poof! get pregnant.Not Your Aunt Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11170586207423260492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-21728172532286298912009-01-29T14:41:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:41:00.000-08:00Are you serious, all I have to do is relax??? Ok,...Are you serious, all I have to do is relax??? Ok, now I am pissed that I spent $75 on IVF!<BR/><BR/>Do you need to borrow my husband to give them an etiquette lecture? =)Jill M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03527626839439456919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-3475294831708549802009-01-29T14:36:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:36:00.000-08:00I think that a lot of times, people want to say so...I think that a lot of times, people want to say some words of comfort but often don't know what to say. So, they fall back on the most infamous sayings that they have heard over and over again, even though they are horribly trite. I get the stories about people giving up and finally succeeding all the time since I've been at this for soooo looong (6 years). Ugh!kayjayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18256420678906545238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-30725242801136779982009-01-29T12:55:00.000-08:002009-01-29T12:55:00.000-08:00Ahh, the well meaning comments. They are SO tireso...Ahh, the well meaning comments. They are SO tiresome.<BR/>If relaxing were the key, then why do stressed out women in war-torn famine-ravaged countries get pregnant ever? People always need to consider the flip side before giving flippant advice.<BR/><BR/>Did you see the latest study in the New England Journal of Medicine? The huge retrospective one that said after six IVFs, women under 35 have live birth rates better than the general population? It's at least a good resource to explain why--even when it feels like maybe we should just stop treatments--it can make perfect sense to keep on going.<BR/><BR/>I hope your post helps your IRL readers to 'just relax' and keep their silly advice to themselves :)DAVshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16759565504954172751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364708603593100884.post-24651563110760191862009-01-29T12:37:00.000-08:002009-01-29T12:37:00.000-08:00To your friends: I KNOW you guys all mean well.To...To your friends: I KNOW you guys all mean well.<BR/><BR/>To Sue: Being infertile gives you front-row view of the REALITIES of infertility, through endless research and conversations with reproductive experts. We become so knowledgeable that it's frustrating to engage in silly, irrational fantasies about how all we need is to "just relax." <BR/><BR/>My awesome cousin was the most "relaxed" and laid back person regarding conception. She married Mr. Wonderful fifteen years ago. When they didn't get pregnant naturally after 3 years, she casually asked her OB/Gyn at her annual visit if there was anything "wrong" with her. He said she was fine. She's 48, still relaxed about never having conceived. If relaxing had anything to do with it, she'd have been pregnant a decade ago.<BR/><BR/>Trust me, that's a clear case of infertility that wasn't cured by relaxing!Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com